~My BrEaStFeEdInG JoUrNeY~

Salaam,

Puas cuba lelapkan mata, tapi tak boleh jugak lena. Bangun, bukak lampu tidur... belek-belek Myra di sebelah, bayangkan apa yang mungkin dia mimpikan sekarang. This serene lil girl has been lovingly breastfeeded for almost a year now (+- 2 weeks more). Tak tahu lah macam mana nak ucapkan syukur pada Allah yang beri aku peluang untuk menebus kekesalan aku masa previous experience dulu.

Biar letih memikul beg dgn pam ku dan aksesorinye yang 2kg plus2 tu, terpaksa pulak melayan pertanyaan mereka2 yg ingin tahu kenapa aku bawak backpack instead of stylish handbag ke tempat keje setiap hari, dan kenapa aku collect ice cube satu bag kat cafe setiap tgh hari dan petang (kes malas tumpang kat freezer klinik yg jauh) aku teruskan jua demi this lil girl. Terkejar-kejar in between pumping session and meetings and works adalah lumrah....owh... did I mentioned as a part-time student too?

Biar terpaksa berkejar pumping 15 minutes before entering exam halls... ahhhh... those sweet memories...hehehhe

Biar hujan ketika balik keje (kini aku hanya menumpang hubby bermotorsikal saje) membawa those precious 'liquid gold' to her or in the crowded LRT (bila hubby balik lambat aku kena naik train daa...), I care those less....as long as Myra gets the best rizq' I could help her to get.



Aku bf Zikr selama setahun genap. Not exclusively but whenever I could be near him. I cried to those EBM I threw away coz he would not drink them though nor that I care to store them correctly to preserved the quality as I get back from work....and that was my biggest mistake... being an ignorant it is. I should have studied this issue seriously then.

Exclusive bf was not cheap to me then. I couldn't afford to buy a good pump and good storage. Nobody says that I can do it....be a good mum and a career-oriented person. Really, not easy but can be done. But it was all that... Zikr stopped willingly at the age of 1. Seriously... when he started to laugh and run away every time you want to bf him... you knew he doesn't interested any more. Bottled formula milk it is....still bring me to tears everytime I think of it...

But Myra is lucky enough to have a mummy who already prepared all the things needed for a serious journey of bf. Not that expensive things and accessories (I still using pudding cups to store them!) but sufficient.

My hope... from the bottom of my heart and soul... to continue this journey until 24 mths... so she could have all the 'gold' she entitled of....menggagahkan diri ini... harapnye aku tabah waktu drop period due to stress level ke, ape ke yang menggangu milk production...and hope she will appreciate it by drink mire and more untuk membesar bagai johan!

..dan... akan ku pekakkan telinga kepada segala kata-kata manusia yang suka menjatuhkan semangat ni kan..huh... aku nak dengar dan baca kata-kata yang bagi semangat je tau... lain tak mo! dan contohi my MIL yang susukan semua anak-anaknye dengan susu ibu sehingga 2 tahun...no wonder how excellent her children are....including my hubby of course! :D


hmmm... nampaknye aku akan terus jadik mummy selamba dan lupakan je lah koleksi handbags aku buat sementara waktu....heheheh


to Zikr derarest, mummy will always love you the same regardless the fact that I failed to bf you the way you should get....sorry is the only word I can say....and sorry is the only thing that I feel each day...;(


Ya Allah, Kau berikan lah aku keupayaan dan kekuatan untuk terus menyampaikan rizq' yang Kau tentukan kepada anak-anak ku"...aamiin...

Note: besides Zikr and Myra, Zara anak saudaraku yang sorang tu pon pernah di-bf dan maknanye dia dah jadik anak susu aku le... (cukup syarat2 seperti diberitahu oleh sahabatku Ustaz glamer tu (nama dirahsiakan sebab terlalu glam... heheh)... dan Myra pon anak susuan Mummy Zara.....:)...